Your d e a d to m e

[Jayflight]

Your heart, your soul, your prying eyes....

His coat, black as night, hid him in the near moonless night. It was a claw of hope in the grave sky; just like the white dash of pale on Deadheart's chest. He smelt the loner's scent, strong and strange in his keen nose. It must have already alerted Shadowclan of everything. From his mentor's plans to what Deadheart had to do in order to save all the clans. His haunted eyes looked side to side often, the Thunderpath was emty and quiet although the stentch was always there. "Hello? Shadowclan?" He called, awaiting the answer as he sat down with a sad glance behind him; to Thunderclan.

They're as dead to me as I can make them seem.

[hawktail]

Night. The best time to do some hunting. Slithering through the dense trees, a dark tabby moved toward her soon catch. A fat mouse. The she-cat's mouth watered at the fresh scent and she slid her claws out delicately. Springing, the cat landed silently on her prey and snapped its neck, killing it. Stepping back with satisfaction, the tabby scraped earth over the kill to fetch it later. She turned toward the Thunderpath; you never know what you might find rummaging through the debris.
"Hello? ShadowClan?" The call hit the she-cat's ears. Following the direction of the noise, Hawktail saw the cat who had made the call. Sitting close to the Thunderpath, the dark cat placed her tail over her paws. "You called?" Hawktail's voice called out coldly.

OOC:: Sorry if I'm not supposed to post here!

[Jayflight]

He lowered his head. "Has the loner told your clan yet? About... about me?" He dared not look up, fearing the haunted look in his eyes might freak her out. But he couldn't help but watch. It was a tabby, although any further details were hidden by blackness. He could almost sense the look of fear, of shame, in his pale green eyes. "I'm sorry if I'm unwelcome, but I'd like to join Shadowclan. I have left Thunderclan, I do not belong there."

Notes: S'ok! At least somebody 'plied!

[hawktail]

OOC:: That's a relief...

Hawktail drew her lips back slightly. "What loner? I haven't seen one, let alone heard from one about you." This cat was weird. And he seemed reluctant to look at her. The she-cat pricked her ears at the tom's statement. "You left your Clan?" the dark tabby asked gently. That makes two of us, the tabby's thoughts added darkly. She shook her head and focused. "Come here," she ordered, flicking her tail. "I'm not crossing this darned path, so you can. And make proper eye contact with me, tom." Hawktail thought that it was only polite to make complete eye contact when you were speaking or being spoken to. So, to Hawktail, the tom was being rude. But he seemed troubled, so the she cat let him off with a warning. Normally, she would speed over and cuff the ear of whoever it was. She would only make exceptions once.

[Jayflight]

He went over to her quickly, with nervous glances around him. He looked her straight in the eye, his emotions welling over and pouring out through them. "My mentor had a plan to destroy all clans and claim their territory. He had friends, I think, to share it with. He was going to fetch a group of cats that live around twolegs, but not with them. Well, I thought we were just going for a patrol and I wanted to go back to camp, but he made me stay with him. Then he told me about his plans. He killed my mother, he was going to lead the cats right to everyone. He's tried dogs, foxes, badgers..." He shuddered. He couldn't go on. His breathing grew ragged and swift, the tom felt like he would pass out as the memories came back.

"You what?" Nightpaw's voice was small, quiet, he couldn't believe what he was in the middle of. "I killed your flea-brained mother, Nightpaw. Surely you didn't care about her?" The young apprentice was frozen. He wanted to run back to camp, to alert the whole clan and then go straight to the apprentice den where he could sleep and pretend it was all a bad dream. He wanted to race away and never return to the clans. He also wanted to save the clans. The cat's long claws were now unsheathed and before Nightpaw could stop and think, he felt the acrid scent of the warm, sticky, scarlet blood on his paws and the large tabby body was limp and lifeless. He thundered back to camp. The rivers he had waded through had washed the scent of blood and the sight of it off him, a gash on his shoulder was the only thing that revealed what had happened. He said it was a long thorn that had done it. But he'd always know.

The tom returned to the present moment, he found himself laying down. Had he fallen over? He guessed so. He felt weak and sick, mabye he was diseased. "And... and I had to do something I didn't want to do...." He murmered slowly and quietly.

Notes: Don't mind him loosing himself, he does taht alot when he talks about that.

[hawktail]

OOC:: Don't worry, Hawktail has her fair share of breakdowns, too...

Hawktail listened silently as the new cat poured himself out to her. Her eyes widened as he toppled over. Feeling sympathy for the tom, the dark tabby allowed herself to lay beside him, pressing comfortably on his pelt with her own. "Shh," she soothed. "I've been forced to do wrong as well. I was forced to leave my old home, chased by my family." Hawktail's pale green eyes studied her paws. There were once blood on them. Blood that had spilled by her thorn sharp claws. She knew how he felt, not realizing what you do until it's too late and you are forced to run forever. "What's your name?" she asked softly. "I'm Hawktail. You can call me Hawk, if you'd like; that's my birth name."

[Jayflight]

He was shocked to find her beside him, he understood what she said exactly. "My name is Deadheart, but uh.... but can call me.... Deadheart?" He realized how stupid he must seem right now. He could have said Nightpaw. But calling a cat, clearly no apprentice, by an apprentice name would be weird. "I was once Nightpaw, I guess you could call me Night." He was figuring out her past. She must have been born a loner and chased away by her family and into the clans or something of the sort.

[hawktail]

Hawktail nodded. "Well, Night," she meowed, "you have to have a very good reason to want to leave ThunderClan. I thought that nobody wanted to be a ShadowClanner." The she-cat ran her tail down Deadheart's back. "And why would a loner want to give you away? I thought that most loners were, well, you know, they keep to themselves." Hawktail tipped her head to the side for a moment, then straightened it once more. He seemed so lost and fragile. "Why were you Nightpaw, and then Deadheart? Aren't you supposed to have the same first part of you name still?" Hawktail was newer to the Clans, but she knew the naming system. And his name didn't follow through correctly.

[Jayflight]

He was surprised at how welcome he was to this she-cat, but he thought little of it. "I had to. The Thunderclan cats, they'd want to know what happened to my mentor. They didn't push me right away because of how I acted. I belong in Shadowclan now.
The loner knew my every secret. He thought he was helping when he told Shadowclan. I guess he did. My name, it's different because everyone noticed how dead, how lifeless, I seemed when I returned. I was old enough to be a warrior and I was well trained, so my warrior name was Deadheart." He sighed. "I guess I wasn't always like this. I was a true Thunderclan cat, you couldn't picture me anywhere else." He shuddered.

[hawktail]

Hawktail sat up. "What a rat." The sudden rude gesture didn't effect the she-cat at all. She could spit the nastiest things out at others. "Why would he think that he was helping? Telling..." Hawktail stood up and backed away a little, the memories flooding back. "Telling never helps!" her yowl quaked. "Rose told! And what good did that do? None!" Eyes clouding up with sorrow, Hawktail gripped the tough soil with her claws. Drawing in a shaking breath, the she0cat sat down once more. "Calm down, Hawk," she murmured to herself, closing her eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong... He got what he deserved... You were misunderstood." She wasn't about to breakdown in front of this cat. She had broken down before in front of someone, and he had frozen up for a moment. She was not going to try to scare Deadheart.

Opening her eyes, Hawktail glanced up at the tom. "Deadheart, I'm sorry, but I don't like your name. It doesn't seem to fit you. If you killed someone and acted down, so what? That is no excuse to give a cat a name like that. Sorry I freaked out," she added to her insults at the loner. She wasn't sure if the tom was friends with the loner.

[Jayflight]

He knew she was right. And he didn't mind her breakdowns. If anything, it made him feel... not alone. He gave her a gentle nugde. "I know. I don't like it either. But it's my name and I have to live with it. I... I always wanted to be Nightflame or Nightwing, but I guess I'll have to settle for Deadheart." He lightened up then. "It's better than something weird, like Sillystripe. Or Facefur." Where did he come up with those names? He shrugged and sat down beside her. "Do you like your name?"

[hawktail]

Hawktail looked up at the sky. "Sort of," she meowed. "I like it because my mother always used to say it matched me so well. What with my temper and all." Her heart grew lighter with the happier times in her life. "Her name was Leaf. I get my eyes and voice from her. But my fur and attitude and fur is from my father. His name was Pit. My mother says I was a daddy's girl. But, then again I hate my name." The she-cat paused. The words stuck deep in her throat, threatening to choke her. Finally, she mewed softly, "It's the name of a monster. And the monster is me."

[Jayflight]

"Your no more a monster than me. What could you have possibly done? Killed a cat? Betrayed a clan? Had kits when you weren't supposed to?" He pondered on this. "There's nothing you could have done that's worse than me." He hoped he was right, for Hawk's sake. He wondered what kind of life this she-cat had led. Who she knew, who she loved, who she was related to, who her siblings were if she had any... "Being a monster is a matter of point of view. You can see me as a hero and yet others think me as fox dung, vice versa. Or..." He hoped he wouldn't regret this. "Or you could be the most wonderful she-cat to have ever had a beating heart to me and yet a disgrace to others."

Notes; I don;t think he'd be flirting if it were a Thunderclan cat, he just likes seeing how cats react to certain things and how they feel about him, and that's one way.

[hawktail]

OOC:: I see...

"You killed your mentor, right?" Hawktail glanced at the tom. She had put two and two together and figured it out. "I have done worse. I..." Hawktail hated to say it. "I killed someone different. I have had my best friend call me a monster because of what she saw, and I taste blood in my dreams. I-" Hawktail's voice was trembling again. "I... I killed Gray... I killed my mate!" Hawktail couldn't imagine something worse than killing the one you called Love. The one you care for the most and risked your life for. "They say you dedicate your life to protect the one you love. Where does it say the part where you are the one causing harm; where does it say about you doing the killing?" Hawktail's legs quivered. She had killed her mate, been accused of other deaths, and driven away. The tabby she-cat shut her eyes tightly, feelings beginning to bubble up that should have been buried deeply inside of her.

[Jayflight]

"That's not the worst thing one could do. You could.... you could kill your own kit, I guess." He gave her a gentle nudge again, speaking softer now. "Again, taht's my point of veiw. But the only point that matters is yours. I left because I was horrified at not just what I had done, because of what could have happened. You were exiled. That's different. Your best friend's point of veiw is not yours." He tried to comfort her. "That was then, and this now, and you should think about that. But.... why did you kill him?"

[hawktail]

Hawktail opened her eyes after she had calmed down. "Gray was power hungry. He killed a leader and deputy before I managed to get to him. But no one ever thought it would be him behind the killings, so when I was caught, there was no changing their minds. The Path of Exile is the worst humiliation, and most of the time it leads you to your death. I was one of the very few lucky ones." Hawktail looked up at the tom's orange eyes. She was very lucky, though. She had managed to come all the way to the Clans, settle down some, have kits, and make some friends. She had only managed to get friends and a mate back where she came from. But she had a mother and father there, and kits here. Hawktail felt torn between worlds every time she thought about it.

[Jayflight]

He thought for a moment. "Well, then you did the right thing, no matter what they say. What has happened is past and we must try to get through it." He spoke true as he could, although he was unsure those words would work for him. "You know what it's like to be untrsuted. I don't. I'll admit that I was exiled, in a way, by my knowlegde. But I could havge stayed. You were forced to go from your home, and taht was wrong. They're blind, Hawk. They don't see the good in your deed, the light of it has blinded them and all they see is blackness. You saved them. They should have listened, should have rejoiced and cheered and leapt for joy. They should have treated you better. I can tell, right now, that what you are deep inside is a pure heart, but it's hidden by brambles taht they've grown." He was near shaking in rage of how hawk had been exiled unfairly, his voice a low growl. "The world can be very black, Hawk. We both know that now. How foolish could tehy have been? They'd be better with you than they ever would without you. Shadowclan must be glad to have such one as yourself."

[hawktail]

Hawktail felt her ears grow warm. "My, you can flatter. But, ShadowClan doesn't know why I'm here. I just showed up and they knew to take me in. Cats say that ShadowClan is hollow, with no hearts, but they took me in and treated me like family. They aren't lucky to have me; I'm lucky to have them." Hawktail smiled lightly. She knew that only one ShadowClan cat knew about her, and she had just told a cat she hardly knew. She really needed to watch who she spoke to. Flicking her gaze to the Thunder Path, she heard the distant roar of a monster. Late night prowl, she guessed. Standing up, she turned her attention t the tom. "A monster's coming. Let's get away from the path." She turned and padded deeper into th pine forest.

[Jayflight]

He looked around quickly, whiskers flicking to show taht he heard her. He got up and followed her into the forest to escape the thing, he knew them well. "Did they have thunderpaths in your old home?" He asked briskly, flicking his tail. He wondered what would have happened if his mentor had not been killed, if Hawk had not killed Gray, and if Deadheart's mentor would have won the fight and in turn killed him. It made him shiver, just thinking about death. Would Starclan abadon him? Surely not if he had stopped that tyrant from causing such chaos.

[hawktail]

OOC:: Sorry!! I'm late!!

Hawktail shook her head. "Nope, never saw a single sign of a Thunder Path in my old home." Hawktail remembered her first time seeing a Thunder Path. "I'll tell you though, when I first saw a Thunder Path, I was terrified out of my mind. And that had added up onto my already pent up fear, so you can't even imagine how scared I was." Hawktail purred. She thought that is was humorous to think of such things. "What did your mentor have against the Clans? I think that they are perfect. But maybe that's because they saved me," she added quietly. She couldn't imagine a cat with something against the Clans, but then she remembered Gray. He had simply been power hungry. "Was it just power?"

[Jayflight]

He nodded quietly, watching her with short looks as he walked, like one would if they were saying some secret or commenting. "Yes, I think. He... he told me that we could rule over the clans and be respected, and be great rulers. But I didn't want that. He killed my mother, I wanted no part in it. These clans are perfect in their own ways and that should never change. This world can't be perfect for all of us, though. But we have to just focus on what we need to do and get it done, one at a time, and we'll pull through. That's how I've done it so far."

[hawktail]

Hawktail nodded. "That has happened to all of us." She remembered how she hadn't thought about anything when she made the kill. She had been almost transfixed on her target. Shrugging, Hawktail turned her head to look at the tom. The woods were getting darker, and she knew that ThunderClan cats couldn't see as well as ShadowClanners. "Can you see okay?" she asked, the faint light catching her eyes and making them glow. She would help the tom along if he was having troubles with seeing. She could understand how he might feel. Walking in an unfamiliar place with barely any light wasn't easy. Hawktail felt a little proud that she could show off her sighting skills to someone. Pushing that thought away with frustration, Hawktail waited for Deadheart's reply.

[Jayflight]

Before he could stop himself, he felt the rough surface of bark on his face and stopped quickly, rubbing his nose with his paw. "Yeah, that'd be nice to have help." When he at last located her, he stuck close and dared not venture away; like a kitten to it's mother.

[hawktail]

Hawktail purred softly. Wrapping her tail around the tom's neck, she could keep track of him and watch where she was going. She would be so embarrassed if she ran into a tree in her own territory. Rolling her eyes, she pushed the thought away. She needed to stop thinking so negative. She had better things to think about.
Like what she was going to tell her leader.
What would the ShadowClan leader think of her bringing in a cat that rank of ThunderClan? Groaning mentally, the she-cat anted to bite herself for not think about this earlier. Why do I always think about things too late? she thought.

OOC:: Do you want me to fetch Duskstar and have him ready to post here?

[Jayflight]

He murmered a thanks and thought he sighted her roll her eyes, but he ignored it. How stupid would he look if he accused an innocent cat of rolling their eyes at him? He continued on, his own dark thoughts haunting his mind. He kept thinking he saw his mentor's eyes gleaming in the shadows, his pelt dappled with shadows and patches of moonlight. He thought he saw his mother's black pelt as well, with her calm amber eyes. Then he started to wonder. Who exactly was his father? He suspected is was a cat outside the clans, but he couldn't be sure.

OOC: Shoar.